The one ☝️ food rule I actually like

Welcome to my monthly email for mental health providers with tips on how to support your clients with food, movement, and body image related difficulties. Here’s a link to the past installments.

This morning I received an email from a client that made my day. One of those rare out-of-the-blue updates that remind me why I choose to do this difficult work. At the risk of bragging, I’d love to share the note anonymously:

“I know we don't meet again for another week but I wanted to say how IMMENSELY helpful the 3-3-3 rule has been for me - I've been feeling satisfied and just thinking about how to make sure I am nourished vs. what I can binge on. I even cooked a little this weekend because I focused on things that would make eating this way easier. Thank you!”

I want to talk about the Rule of 3s because it’s been a game changer for so many of my clients. The Rule of 3s is a tool used to normalize intake and plan meals for clients struggling with all types of eating disorders and disordered eating. To give credit where credit is due: I learned about it from dietitians Marcia Herrin and Marcia Larkin in their book, “Nutrition Counseling in the Treatment of Eating Disorders.”

The Rule of 3s states: eat 3 meals and 3 snacks per day, with no longer than 3 hours between eating times. Depending on the client, I might add: try to include 3 food groups in each meal. I love its simplicity, especially when compared to food exchange systems in which clients are told to track food groups, calories, or servings.

The Rule of 3s clearly and succinctly describes a normal, healthy eating pattern.

Many clients who have been restricting food for their entire lives — and maybe didn’t have great role models for eating as children — have no idea what “normal” eating looks like in terms of what, when, and how much to eat in a day. These clients are not yet ready for the flexibility and self-trust of intuitive eating so we first use more structured planning to ensure adequate nourishment throughout the day.

When I first describe the Rule, most clients are astounded by how much food is considered normal! I go on to explain that by eating every three hours you will be responding to your body's natural rise and fall of energy. It’s why most people get hungry every 3ish hours.

Many clients feel immediate relief from being given professional permission to eat more in the “right” way. They love a clear, structured goal. For others, learning about the Rule of 3s sends them straight into panic mode. I have to eat how much?? We have to meet these worried clients where they’re at and collaborate to create an intermediary goal that feels challenging but not overwhelming (e.g. 2 meals and 2 snacks). Over time, we’ll work together to increase intake. In practice, there are more nuances and specifics involved when using the Rule of 3s, but I hope it’s helpful for you to know the basics!

Remember, the goal is not to use the Rule of 3s forever. It’s a tool. A stepping stone to becoming an intuitive eater with no rules at all.

Thanks for reading!

Be well,

Laura Silver, MS, RD, CDN